Spiritual Exercise – Belonging

Whose Are You?… All in One Place

“The ancient question, ‘Who am I?’ inevitably leads to a deeper one: ‘Whose am I?’ – because there is no identity outside of relationship. You cannot be a person by yourself. To ask “Whose am I” is to extend the question far beyond the little self-absorbed self, and wonder: Who needs you?  Who loves you?  To whom are you accountable?  To whom do you answer?  Whose life is altered by your choices?  With whose life is your own bound up, inextricably, in obvious or invisible ways?’ Douglas Steer

It’s such a powerful and important truth: we are who we belong to. But it’s also a hard truth to remember. The world around us doesn’t help. It wants us to wake up every morning and ask, “Am I succeeding?” not “Who needs me?” “ Who loves me?” or “With whose life is my own bound up?”

So this month why not engage in a bit of course correction? Why not see what happens when who we belong to is front and center at the start of every day?

This exercise is designed to help with this. Here are your instructions:

1. Clear off a space on a table, dresser, desk or shelf in your house.
2. Over a few days or a week populate that space with pictures of people, places, things, concepts – whoever and whatever comes to mind when you ask yourself “Whose am I?”
3. Find or print out the pictures of those to whom you belong. You can also write them out. Add as many as feels right.
4. Push yourself to think beyond the obvious answers: your family, UCM, work (but include them as well). Treat the question as a meditation practice. Asking it each day for a week may lead you to the unexpected: a mentor from your past, an unknown child suffering, a childhood pet, a provincial park, a beloved city, a strongly held belief.
5. Once the space is filled with your chosen pictures, take the rest of the month using it as an altar of sorts. Pause briefly before it every morning, and think about how you belong.
6. Pay attention to how bringing your network of belonging changes your days. Journal about it. Discuss it with your partner or friend.

Note: You don’t have to do this exercise by yourself. Consider doing it with your partner or with your children as well.