Spiritual Exercise – Emergence

Option A)  Open Ended Questions

When in a conversation, if we keep our questions open ended and our hearts and minds open to the response, we often find that a deeper, more enriching experience develops.  Developing the skill of open ended questioning, whether in personal or business conversations, enables us to be better prepared for the emergence of new ideas, solutions or choices.

Closed ended questions can generally be answered with a yes or a no statement, or a fact.  Open ended questions cause the responder to reply with more detail, to reveal more about themselves, while demonstrating the asker’s interest in the responder.  Open ended questions tend to begin with  what, why, how, describe.

This month, try to include more open ended questions in your conversations, and see what emerges.  Try to hold back on your point of view, or planning your next words.  Even if there is an agenda to the meeting, or a decision to be made, try to ask more open questions, rather than directing the discussion. How does it feel to switch into a more curious mode of questioning?

Examples of open ended framing:

• What was it like to…
• What was the best part of…
• What was the hardest part about…
• How did you feel about…
• How did you know…
• What brought you to…
• What’s surprised you the most about…

 

Option B) Group Story

If you are in a group of three or more individuals, why not tell a group story?  Have one person offer a initial sentence to set the action off (such as “a woman stepped into a subway car…”) and the next person adds another word, with each person adding another word to the story.

No one is in control of the story but often a story, however odd, will emerge. If you can maintain the story, it will begin to influence the words being offered.  Some people will be frustrated when unexpected words are offered and they have to respond differently then they planned.

If you get a chance to try this, reflect on your experience with the story group.  What were some of the reactions?  How did it end?  How did it feel to have no one in control?  How did the story work out?