Finding Rest

November 10, 2024 – The Rev. Stephen Atkinson

Boy, does the world ever need a rest!!

OK, that’s rather presumptuous of me. I could just say that I need a rest, but surely I’m not alone in that. From chats before we began this morning, I know some of you are in need of it too. Our province and country could use some respite; from what and for what is debatable, but the debate itself could do well to settle down. And certainly the country to our south needs a vacation from itself. So, yes, the world needs a rest, but it can’t be found. That can’t happen, at least not everywhere, not for long; perhaps only a small percentage of us within this global culture and on this planet can sometimes find quiet. Paradoxically, it can take a lot of work to find rest.

Our western culture, and more immediately and proximately our Greater Toronto Hamilton Area, seems not to value taking time. The cost of living pushes us to work hard, so hard. Our infrastructure requires more and more time to get from one place to another; from one job to another; from one meeting, or social, or store… As a retired person, I don’t always have to drive fast from here to there, but the bullying on the road makes it difficult to go at my own speed. You all know this, and maybe some of you have to push those around you because of what both internal and external pressures are on you. It can be inescapable as a norm, but perhaps we can find ways to manage it.

Very few, if any of us have much control over our lives. The more resources we have, the more control we can maintain, but there are always forces challenging our limits. As I look back on my life with the evolving perspectives that come with aging and changing circumstances, I see more and different motives for certain decisions I made in the past. One example is that doing psychiatry in a solo practice not a hospital and preferring parish ministry each give me more control over my time than other alternatives. Not total control, mind you, but quite a lot. One result is that Iat least had the opportunity to set out my off-time, breaks, days worked or not, vacations and such. I wonder how many years that has added to my life expectancy.

It’s clear that most do not have that autonomy and the not-having takes a toll, but maybe there are smaller ways in which to choose rest for ourselves.

There’s a web-page called “5 Ways to Develop a Theology of Rest.” 1 Translating its language into what’s more comfortable to us, the first and most important point is to Seek Presence. For some, like myself, that means awareness of or communion with the Divine, but it could also be the quietude of meditation, or the cultivation of presence of mind. Be. Here. Now. Whatever it may be for each of us, the important point is to make it a habit or routine or beloved part of one’s day.

Somewhat more challenging is to create and maintain a personal sabbath or rest day. The Jewish sabbath is a day of no work. You can eat, play and make love as much as you want, but no working. Work life is increasingly encroaching on personal time so it may actually be impossible to set your own down-time. And of course demands come up unexpectedly… but it’s worth making this a goal.

Another point this site makes is quite interesting. Let other people know that you’re working on taking better care of your time, and then ask them how you’re doing. Our habits can be entirely invisible to us, but usually not to those closest to us. Also, and our aims and interests can dominate the choices we make so check in with those around you; listen to their suggestions.

Going back to cultural pressures, the push towards productivity can be blind to the benefits of relaxation, interludes and breaks on our abilities to work well. There is such a thing as the back of the mind; taking a walk, gazing at whatever is most beautiful to you, even sleeping can make space for the idea to burst out of the part of our minds we’re less aware of. One Saturday night, and I’m glad it was just one, it was late and I could not find a way to end the sermon for tomorrow. I risked that going to sleep might allow me to wake with a new idea, and it worked. I woke up and wrote the final section as though it were being dictated to me. And most of us know that when, try as we might, we cannot remember the name of who won best actress in All About Eve, if we think of something else it suddenly pops into our mind: neither actress got the Oscar that year, it went to Judy Holliday for Born Yesterday! That’s a glimpse into my pointless hobby of collecting film trivia which I find very relaxing!

But let’s return to the goal of “Seeking Presence”, focusing on Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer, which I hasten to add can be used humanistically as simply a list of intentions. Or requests to the True or Deeper Self to assist our conscious selves. As you know a shortened version of this piece is used by unknown millions of people around the world seeking to manage, control or end compulsive behaviours and settle chaotic thoughts and feelings. As someone grateful to be in recovery, I can vouch that many atheists or humanists, and not a few are UUs, use it.

Sure, the prayer’s first line is “God” but that doesn’t mean one has to say that. It works just as well if that is left out. Or “g.o.d.” can be thought of as good orderly direction.

It’s also true that the first word after “God” is “Grant,” which also may be uncomfortable for some. “Who’s granting? How granting? I don’t need to be given something from outside.” Well, it doesn’t have to come from outside. One may look deep inside to be given the best that is within you; the wisdom we often don’t take time to attend to. Or if one believes in the unconscious, it may contain truth about us that we need to allow ourselves to see, know and digest.

There is a subtle wonder, though, in the idea of seeking to be granted something, and that’s humility. To welcome the experience of humility can be one of the most healing decisions any of us makes. Humility is turning away from self-importance, superiority, or self-inflating pride. Humility is not to be brought down by oneself or others; it’s not to be humiliated. Rather it is to accept one’s simple humanity, being different from others or even unique, but neither better nor worse than they.

Lack of humility is one of the greatest threats the world faces now. On one level there’s that driver who, roaring up behind me and tickling my back bumper trying to get me out of their way, needs a good injection of humility, especially because they make other drivers feel like this is the best way to drive now: fast, aggressive, boastful. How different Facebook would be if we post photos of what our homes look like in real life; pictures of us taken in the bathroom mirror first thing in the morning; the family portrait where everyone is grumpy. Each caption could say, “This is my/our reality!”

But there are other levels on which the absence of humility is more significant. I long for, let’s say, our Prime Minister to say out loud, “I’m not going to give up the leadership because the coming rout of my party in the next election is my responsibility. Let it be part of my history and not sabotage whichever leader will follow me.” Or for our Opposition Leader to say, “The time for being a finger-pointing smart-aleck is over. I’m ready to start facing how actually to improve our country which no one party can do alone.” Imagine politics based on humility.

And higher up, the surge towards authoritarian government and narcissistic leadership around the world is exceedingly dangerous. I begin writing this on the day of the US Election and, no matter how it goes, what I’m saying will remain true. Leaders who cannot admit to mistakes. Who seek power to mask their inferiority. Who project internal problems onto others, even to the point of social dissolution, subjugation and war. Not to mention the masses of people who feel superior to others and see problems originating with them, not with their own decisions, behaviours, drives and needs. The deficit in humility is breath taking.

Having said all that, let’s look into the whole of what Nieburh wrote:

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” Imagine the relief of letting go of what is outside our control.

“The courage to change the things I can.” To refocus our energy to what is within our personal reach.

“The wisdom to know the difference.” This is the crucial and most difficult part; it requires truthfulness and perspective.

And there’s more in the lesser-known lines that I’ll paraphrase here: “Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time.” Be. Here. Now.

“Accepting hardship as the path to peace.” There will always be struggle so don’t fight that fact.

“Taking this imperfect world as it is and not as I would have it.” Deal with the reality that often is much smaller and simpler than our desires.

“Trusting that all things may become right” if I practice conscious and healthy surrender.

“That I may be reasonably happy in this life” and maybe happier if there’s more after this.

The world is changing as it always has; some changes are unprecedented. Let’s quietly sit with that.